New Year List

Tucker is busy putting together a list for his New Year's resolutions. He has even put some together for his siblings. This Year, Tucker has added the following to his list:

1. Be less stinky.
2. Act more like a young gentleman; act less like a young ruffian.
3. Share more cookie treats with less fortunate dogs.
4. Spend less time on the bed while his parents are out.

For his sister, Dexter, Tucker has compiled the following list:

1. Stop being so mean to Tucker.
2. Try to eat other dogs less.

For his brother, YHP, Tucker has created this list:

1. Sleep on Tucker's bed less.
2. Stop attacking Tucker for no good reason.
3. Be less short. Ha ha.

For his littlest brother, Baron von Dachshund, Tucker has made this list:

1. Smell less bad.
2. Bogart less of mom's time so others can get a pet or two.
3. Snore less.
4. Eat more vegetables, less other things.

And for Tucker's ...other brother, Chester Copperpots, he made the following:

1. Act less like a cat.
2. Attack Tucker's tail less.

Tucker feels pretty good about his list and thinks 2009 will be a good year for him. Year of the Tucker!

Yay X-Mas

X-Mas has finally arrived and young Tucker is very excited. He and his siblings teamed up with the guest, Sasha, to wake his parents to go play with gifts at 4:30 this morning. Tucker knew the time was close because he got to bark at Santa Claus riding a fire truck last night. That is a good indicator of a chronic unraveling in his understanding of temporal progression.

Anyhow, Tucker rushed out to the living room to sniff out his cookie treats and to be the first to lay in his new plush beds. Everything was just as he asked for it and he was more than happy to share with his siblings, who, most likely received little more than coal themselves.

After breakfast and a few nice naps, Tucker and his family are going to take nice walks around the neighborhood. He is going to brag to all the dogs he meets all the great stuff he got from Santa this year. He has already steeled himself not to be too preachy. But he is willing to somehow distill his secrets of success into a narrative that may or may not fetch him paid speaking engagements or a book deal. Better yet, he may be able to get on the "life coach" circuit after this holiday season success. And then he would be rich and could buy even more gifts for himself and his family.

Now Tucker can't wait 'til next X-Mas to double his return and build his multimedia / inspirational speech empire.

New Kid

Tucker and his siblings are being visited by a new kid this holiday season. Their new friend, Sasha, is a likable sort of kid who enjoys following Tucker around. In fact, Sasha likes to follow Tucker as Tucker follows his dad from room to room. This dual flanked dog status does seem to perplex and vex Tucker's dad as he seems to get trapped in certain rooms with narrow doorways more easily than usual.

Sasha is big fluffy white. His white makes Tucker seem dirty like a street urchin.

Sasha likes to eat breakfast and dinner with the gang and seems to keep to his own bowl, which is good. Included in the other things the holiday guest likes to do are: curl up at the dad's feet; run about the yard like a crazy fool; play funny games; and everyone's favorite game --hey, you peed there, so I will too!

Yuletide Concerns

Dear Santa,

Thank you for all the nice things you have given me over the years. I really really appreciate them. Thank you for my brothers and sister and my pretty mother and that guy she says is my dad. I like them all quite a lot.

Now to get down to business. I would like some special things this year because unlike the brothers and sister, I have been really good. I don't get on the furniture half as much as Dexter, and I only go on the bed when chasing YHP. All other times I really am being quite good. So to tell you exactly, if you would really like to know, what I want for the holidays is a new bed. Baron and YHP have a donut shaped bed that is the envy of my eye. But I am more than 2 times too big for it and I flop out the sides. A new, bigger donut bed would sure hit the mark this year. I would not sneeze at anything else you provide in addition to this bed, such as cookie treats or extra pets.

In closing, I hope you make the smart decision this year Santa and provide me with the simple objects I require to continue being a good dog.

Your Loyal Fan,
Tucker.

P.S. And please bring something nice for the other kids. Not that I am opposed to sharing per se, but I think they would like something to inspire them to be good for next year.

Help the Humans This Holiday Season

Tucker has noticed something disturbing and sad about humans. Every time he tries to talk with them, they don't seem to understand what he is saying. Even his parents, with whom he interacts daily, only seem to track every fourth or fifth word. And even then, Tucker's more complex thoughts get distilled down to the basest needs. When his parents (who are genetically closer to monkeys than canines, after all) try to rephrase his statements as questions, they ask, "Tucker want to outside?" and "you want pets good boy?" and the one that makes Tucker sit down and sigh is when they ask, "you gotta go bathroom little man?"

Not only is it frustrating for Tucker, but a little insulting. Sometimes Tucker likes to work out his theories on the new physics techniques of jet propulsion and the correlative soico-economic impact it creates among developing nations in the Socratic method through dialogue. It chaps his hide to think that the only input his parents have revolves round petting, feeding and excreting bodily fluids.

Luckily for Tucker, his siblings are all very intelligent and somewhat conversive. After they have their morning coffeee, of course. This isn't to say all dogs are more intelligent than humans and better at expressing themselves. Only that most dogs are. Tucker is personally worried about the stunted mental abilities of the neighborhood dogs, especially that weird banjo playing pack of Cocker Spaniels who linger about the back gate smoking cigarettes and drinking home made liquor. They may have evolved from squirrels after all.

Sorry Sad

This post is officially written by YHP with what his lawyers have told him to express as his "absolute regret and sadness" for his transgressions on this fine blog. He "unconditionally apologizes" to Tucker and his scores of loyal fans for "besmirching, defacing, and otherwise being stinky upon" his brother's blog.

So, there you have it. A first ever for YHP -- remorse for his actions. Becuase he does care for his brother and hopes he can forgive his cyber attack last week.

Sincerely,
YHP (the King)

Where She go?

Tucker padded about he house all day yesterday looking for his mom. He went from room to room and poked his nose in. But she was not in any of the rooms. He went to go ask his dad where his mom was and his dad said something unintelligible in his odd monkey-like language. Tucker sighed a heavy sigh. Without his mom here, who is going to make sure he's warm and safe in his bed at night?

Tucker was so worried that he asked YHP to help him find her. They ran all over the yard looking for her. And then they got distracted and started chasing squirrels and barking at the neighbor dogs. And then they came inside and played. As they were going to bed last night, Tucker noticed Baron looking quite alert and sad. Baron told Tucker that their mom went on vacation and she would be back soon. So Tucker shouldn't worry. This only made Tucker worry more. Why would mom go on a vacation without Tucker and his siblings? They love her. They decorate the house for her while she is at work and keep the furniture warm for her while she is away. And they yell, " Surprise! " at her when she comes home. Boy they have some good fun together.
YHP told Tucker not to worry. With their dad in charge for a couple of days, they will be able to get away with murder. YHP said he already had an intergalactic kegger and a "Monte Carlo" themed fundraiser planned for the week. YHP said Tucker can make some extra scratch valet parking for the guests at these and other high-end events this week. Tucker is glad to have an older brother who looks out for Tucker's business needs.