baron is the baby 4evah! (or, an open letter to everyone)

dear everyone,

my name is baron von dachsund, and i would like to point out to you all that i am now, and will forever remain, the baby of my mother's heart. she loves me best among all my siblings, even if she pretends otherwise. who gets the bread crusts? ME! who gets to be on the couch whenever he wants? ME! who gets to sleep under the covers? ME! who gets daddy's undivided attention during fetch-the-sock? ME!

all i'm saying is, any new babies out there, look out. there's already a baby here, and i'm him, so keep on moving. find someone else to play fetch-the-sock with, because there's no more room at this inn.

signed, yours barkingly,
b.v.d.