baron is the baby 4evah! (or, an open letter to everyone)

dear everyone,

my name is baron von dachsund, and i would like to point out to you all that i am now, and will forever remain, the baby of my mother's heart. she loves me best among all my siblings, even if she pretends otherwise. who gets the bread crusts? ME! who gets to be on the couch whenever he wants? ME! who gets to sleep under the covers? ME! who gets daddy's undivided attention during fetch-the-sock? ME!

all i'm saying is, any new babies out there, look out. there's already a baby here, and i'm him, so keep on moving. find someone else to play fetch-the-sock with, because there's no more room at this inn.

signed, yours barkingly,
b.v.d.

Yay X-Mas

X-Mas has finally arrived and young Tucker is very excited. He and his siblings teamed up with the guest, Sasha, to wake his parents to go play with gifts at 4:30 this morning. Tucker knew the time was close because he got to bark at Santa Claus riding a fire truck last night. That is a good indicator of a chronic unraveling in his understanding of temporal progression.

Anyhow, Tucker rushed out to the living room to sniff out his cookie treats and to be the first to lay in his new plush beds. Everything was just as he asked for it and he was more than happy to share with his siblings, who, most likely received little more than coal themselves.

After breakfast and a few nice naps, Tucker and his family are going to take nice walks around the neighborhood. He is going to brag to all the dogs he meets all the great stuff he got from Santa this year. He has already steeled himself not to be too preachy. But he is willing to somehow distill his secrets of success into a narrative that may or may not fetch him paid speaking engagements or a book deal. Better yet, he may be able to get on the "life coach" circuit after this holiday season success. And then he would be rich and could buy even more gifts for himself and his family.

Now Tucker can't wait 'til next X-Mas to double his return and build his multimedia / inspirational speech empire.